Sixth blog: What I thought I knew about night life

What I thought I knew: In the 1960's,when I lived in the Valley, my notion of going out included picturing the "jet set" having cocktails in fashionable clothes in downtown somewhere, perhaps an exotic locale such as France. In those days, going to Hawaii was considered exotic. My parents occasionally, and by this, I mean, maybe once a year, took themselves out to dinner with another couple to a fancy restaurant in downtown Los Angeles. There was talk of chocolate mousse and of having drinks. Night life during the 1960's was a house party or a pool party. Our family never went out for dinner, unless it was a very special occasion paid for by my grandfather or a Christmas bonus. We never ate fast food, instead packing a lunch all over the country on vacations or weekend excursions to go hiking. When I was in junior high, still in the San Fernando Valley, I realized that my father sometimes went out for a beer to a local bar that happened to be on my way home from school. Years later, he later admitted to going out with the church treasurer to decide over beer what church bills to pay this month, a fine budget solving location.

When I was of high school age and living in Salt Lake City, going out meant being invited to parties where beer was somehow available along with a potential boyfriend and a chance to feel uncomfortable in a new situation. Night life for high school kids included going to "keggers" up Mill Creek Canyon, smoking between classes, driving around looking for a place to drink beer, sneaking beer into the theater while watching "Monty Python's The Search For the Holy Grail" and driving up behind the Capital in the "avenues" in order to enjoy the view and of course, drink beer. I had a strict curfew and was home by 11:00 pm, 9:00 pm on a school night. I can still remember the first time I tried smoking something, crammed into an old pick-up truck in the parking lot of my high school during a "Stomp" (a casual dance) and listening to The Who singing "Baba O-Reilly," a song that explained, "it's only teenage wasteland." My next encounter with something new was accompanied by Pink Floyd from "Dark Side of the Moon." So this was my teenage night life - drinking something we were not yet old enough to purchase ourselves and listening to (what is now) classic rock music.

Going out in high school also meant finding a place to be alone with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Mom and Dad used to take turns staying up till 11:00 pm waiting for my return, both reporting that "Your mom worries about you," or "Your dad worries about you." Sometimes my friend Becky and I would drive up and down State Street. Oh boy. Family night life included the pre-planned "game night" and my parents took us out to dinner at Christmas. Gatherings at the house during holidays or vacations were what we looked forward to as entertainment. Consider Salt Lake City; there were very few bars, and only private clubs could serve liquor. Apparently I was waiting on the exciting notion of dressing up and going out for cocktails, enjoying stimulating conversations with interesting people and wearing high heels; I couldn't wait to be 21 years old.

College meant cheap beer and really bad wine - in a jug just for variety. It's not that I partied a lot (actually, partied was not really a verb yet); I usually quit after two drinks. There was not much night life glamor in college, but my last two years were spent in the company of a lot of musicians, which was full of performance and parties and perhaps a bottle of brandy shared to some funky music at someones house. When I got married, night life was playing cards with two of our friends and sharing dinner. I miss playing hearts and hearing Jim announce, "and they're off" whenever Kathy would try to run the cards. We did not go to bars, and in fact, we stayed home, made nachos and tried different beers and local wines with friends. We did not spend our evenings watching TV for entertainment, yet we were still entertained. OK, we also went to Grateful Dead concerts; don't assume anything about that, it's a normal bay area activity to be a deadhead.


What I know now: I'm never going to be the model-iscious, perfumed, well dressed, perfectly made up, high heel wearing, cocktail sipping girl out on the town at expensive upscale bars. I am in fact, more than comfortable at local establishments that sell hamburgers and cheap PBR. Until money became tight, I probably shared a meal with my boyfriend twice a month at Chapala's and a few times more for burgers. Going out has meant having season tickets to the symphony with my sister and brother-in-law. It has meant joining a local quilting group for a monthly meeting. My so-called night life is going to local concerts when someone you want to see actually makes it here on a Tuesday night, renting movies from Netflix, watching TV and naturally, family gatherings. I used to go out dancing when I first became single (16 years ago) at a local bar and grill called The Dutch Goose; the place became my living room, my place to study and where I met some close friends. The Goose progressed from a singles dance spot where I met my boyfriend, (they stopped having live music) to the location of choice for family birthday parties and welcome home celebrations.

As for my aspirations for a night life, I have gotten used to being tired at 10:00 PM. Having a night life would severely cut into not only my budget, but also my energy. I want to go out dancing, but at 9:00 when the bands start playing, I'm heading for bed. Also, I no longer know what local musical group might be fun since "The Tourists" disbanded. If I plan it right and get in a nap, I could go out dancing, have a few drinks and take a taxi home. Maybe for my birthday?